Marriage statistics are disappointing nowadays – almost half of the divorces occur in young families who have been married for up to 9 years but have not coped with the test of fate. And this is even regarding the fact we did not include relationships based on cohabitation in the list. Why does it happen? How do relationships in which love and acceptance reigned reach the point where former spouses no longer want to fight for their future? The mistakes of many couples are still the same. It seems that people just forgot about what real and strong love is. And we decided to remind.
5 whales on which love stands. What is important for a relationship?
When lovers swear vows, what do they say first? That they do not want to have secrets from each other, that they want to divide in half all the sorrows and joys-achievements. What happens then, where does this trust go? It is corroded by doubts and fears, quarrels and the selfish imposition of any requirements, expectations, and obligations on the partner. But to trust means to accept a person in their true light, not being afraid to get hurt again. Yes, in the past, there was pain and betrayal, but you started a new life with a new person, so stop projecting your fears on them, stop braking your development as a couple. Love as much as if your heart never knew pain – this is the main secret. Because each of us aspires to the same things, even starting over at 50, people still seek someone they can rely on, feel real, and not hide anything, neither feel that there are skeletons in the wardrobe their partner tries to keep silent about.
It is impossible to accept the personality of the partner and their dreams if both speak different languages in the relationship as if they do not feel each other. Love is not just a common life and raising common children. This is the ability to listen to your soul mate, the desire to share common views, values, and beliefs with your loved one, to be open, giving feedback. When you want to share feelings and thoughts, when it finds a response in your partner, when you help each other to unlock the potential and recognize the value of the partner in your life.
Love also means giving each other complete freedom of action when there is no desire to control the time and boundaries of a partner, to get into their head and thoughts with the goal of controlling everything. When you value each other’s personal space, you freely allow your partner to develop in the direction that they like because you are sure that they love you and will not do you any harm. Jealousy, restriction of freedoms, humiliating control, and fear of loss, alas, have little to do with love. This is an addiction, an attempt to tie happiness to oneself, perpetuate feelings in a stone that destroys relationships and kills trust.
Constant criticism of a partner, methodical pressure on each other’s most painful spots to achieve their goal causes irritation, anger, and hatred to appear, which are supplanted by love. Especially this is the sin of women who adore spouses to point out their shortcomings: “I threw things away again.” “How many times should I ask you to take out the trash?” “You earn too little.” But love implies the presence of mutual respect and support, as well as the ability to forgive each other’s weaknesses. Each of us is somewhat imperfect, it’s time to stop looking for roughness and concentrate on what you originally loved each other for. Enough of demoralizing the atmosphere in the family, be merciful, learn to accept even the dark side of your partner.
Feelings fade over time, but only we ourselves are to blame! Where does the romance of the first meetings go? Why do partners allow resentment and unfulfilled expectations to prevail over themselves, forgetting about tenderness? If you want to keep love, then take care of each other, maintain the flame of passion and eroticism. Remember, your partner is a gift of fate, not something taken for granted. Often arrange pleasant surprises for each other, diversify your joint leisure with trips to concerts, outings in a cafe or in nature with a tent, and do not forget to experiment in bed. Are you sure you know absolutely everything about each other’s sexual preferences? How long it has been since you have been doing something new together? Just sincerely admitted their feelings?
Love is a thin thread that holds you together; therefore, it is so important to nourish and strengthen it with the right actions. More often say words of love to each other, look for common ground and common interests, confirm the importance of the partner, and do not forget about the main goal of the relationship